8 We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. 9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. ~II Corinthians 1:8-9
When I was diagnosed with the deadly and usually terminal cancer Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumor-sarcoma (DSRCT) in the Fall (November) of 2009 the Apostle Paul’s writing became all too real for me! When I was told by my hernia specialist that I didn’t (unfortunately) have a hernia after all, but instead a large softball size mass by my right kidney, the Apostle Paul’s words became for me a reality that I wouldn’t be able to shake for the next 7 months of chemo treatment (leading up to my resection surgery in May). I came close to death multiple times during my treatment (although my docs didn’t tell me that then). And here I am almost four years later, up against another CT scan (this Tuesday, the 18th of February) to make sure that I am still cancer free. This verse from the Apostle Paul has never gone away for me. I continue to have an immediate and real sentence of death written upon me, and I don’t like it. But it does press me deep into Jesus in ways that I would not be without this ‘sentence.’
Please keep me and my wife in prayer this Tuesday the 18th at around 12:30pm (pst); it will be at this time that I get the results for my CT scan (which I will have at 11am that morning). I get pretty anxious that day, so does my wife. It brings back memories, smells, people, etc. that are not pleasant; I am pretty sure it is something like what war veterans experience with PTSD, although mine is particular and local and not generalized (i.e. I only get it the day of the test and results :-) ). Anyway, please keep us in prayer that day. Thanks all.